Swing When

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I know the routine, put another nickel
In the machine
I feel kind of bad, can't you make the music
Easy and sad
I could tell you a lot, but it's not
In a gentleman's code
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You'd never know it, but buddy I'm a kind of poet
And I've got a lot of things I'd like to say
And if I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's talked away
Well that's how it goes, and Joe I know your gettin'
Anxious to close
Thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found, It's gotta be drowned
Or it's gonna explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

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I knew a man Bojangles
And he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes

With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe

He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he lightly touch down

He told me of the time he worked with
Minstrel shows travelling
Throughout the south

He spoke with tears of fifteen years
How his dog and he
They would travel about.

But his dog up and died
He up and died
And after twenty years he still grieved

He said "I dance now
At every chance in the Honky Tonks
For my drinks and tips

But most the time I spend
Behind these country bars
You see on I drinks a bit"

Then he shook his head
Oh lord when he shook his head
I could swear I heard someone say please

Mister Bojangles
Call him Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles come back and dance please

Come back and dance again Mr Bojangles

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I wouldn't be so alone
The they knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy
Come back to the old ville and dine
Cameron Diaz give me a sign
I'd make you smile all the time
Your conversation would compliment mine

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word

Buy up the rights to my book
Live on a ranch from what the box office took
I'll go and visit the set
They'll call me their saviour
All the peoples will scorn celebrity
Lives on the moon
But, I'll be back home in June
To promote the sequel

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr. Spielberg look just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little obsurd
Bow at my every word

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Have you heard?
The coast of Maine just got caught in a hurricane?
Well did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that poor dear
Blanche got run down by an avalanche?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
What daiquiris!
What sherry, please!
What burgundy!
What pommery!
Have you heard?
Professor Munch ate his wife and divorced his lunch?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Missus Smith in her new
Hup crossed the bridge when the bridge was up,
Well, did you evah?
What a swell part this is!
What brandy, wow!
What whiskey, here's how!
What gin and what beer,
will you sober up, dear?

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There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me

We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
But I'll always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No they can't take that away from me.

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When I was seventeen, it was a very good year.
It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights.
We'd hide from the light on the village green when I was seventeen.
When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year.
It was a very good year for city
girls who lived up the stairs
With perfume hair that came undone
when I was twenty-one.

When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year.
It was a very good year for blue-blooded
girls of independent means.
We'd ride in limousines. Their chauffeurs
would drive when I was thirty-five.

But now the days are short, I'm in the
autumn of the year
and now I think of my life as vintage
wine from fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs. It poured
sweet and clear. It was a very good year

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How lucky can one guy be?
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
The room was completely black,
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

I've sunshine enough to spread,
it's just like the fella said
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?

Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

She's tellin' me we'll be wed,
she's picked out a king-size bed
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick
Tell me quick oh, ain't love a kick?
Tell me quick ain't love a kick in the head?

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[spoken]
[Robbie: (american accent)] Johnny and Robbie
[Jonathon:] What you talking like that for, you're from Stoke!
[Robbie:] I dunno but I can't stop here pally

Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you'll never get rid of your shadow
You'll never get rid of me

Let all the others fight and fuss
Whatever happens, we've got us.

(Me and my shadow)
We're closer than pages that stick in a book
We're closer than ripples that flow in a brook
(Strolling down the avenue)
Wherever you find him, you'll find me, just look
Closer than a miser or the bloodhounds to Liza

Me and my shadow
We're closer than smog to all of L.A.
We're closer than Ricky to confessing he's gay??
Not a soul can bust this team in two
We stick together like glue

And when it's sleeping time
That's when we rise
We start to swing
Our clocks don't chime
What a surprise
They ring-a-ding-ding!
Happy New Year!

(Me and my shadow)
And now to repeat what I said at the start
They'll need a large crowbar to break us apart
We're alone but far from blue

Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit a few late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe ? show
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!

[spoken]
[Jonathon:] Can we do that again
[Robbie:] No, I'm too tired
[Jonathon:] Please Rob
[Robbie:] No, I'm swung out
[Jonathon:] I'll give you some money
[Robbie:] I don't need money
[Jonathon:] What about a cup of tea
[Robbie:] Not thirsty
[Jonathon:] I'll won't tell anyone you're gay.
[Both Laugh]

Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
We'll hit all the late spots, and then a few more
We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe ? show
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
For my shadow and me!

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