Hail To the Thief

The mongrel cat came home
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his new found friends
He said I been where I liked
I slept with who I like
She ate me up for breakfast
She screwed me in a vice
But now
I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied
I sat in the cupboard
And wrote it down real neat
They were cheering and waving
Cheering and waving
Twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis
But it got edited fucked up
Strangled beaten up
Used in a photo in time magazine
Buried in a burning black hole in devon
I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied
Don't know why
I feel
So skinned alive.
My thoughts are misguided and a little naive
I twitch and I salivate like with myxomatosis
You should put me in a home or you should put me down
I got myxomatosis
I got myxomatosis
Yeah no one likes a smart ass but we all like stars
But that wasn't my intention, I did it for a reason
It must have got mixed up
Strangled beaten up
I got myxomatosis
I got myxomatosis
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied

No x42
I don't know why you bother
Nothing's ever good enough for you.
(By the way) I was there and it wasn't like that.
You've come here just to start a fight
You had to piss on our parade
You had to shred our big day
You had to ruin it for all concerned
In a drunken punch-up at a wedding
Yeah
Hypocrite opportunist
Don't infect me with your poison
A bully in a china shop
When I turn 'round you stay frozen to the spot
You had the pointless snide remarks
Of hammerheaded sharks
The pot will call the kettle black
It's a drunken punch-up at a wedding yeah
Oh no no

Are you such a dreamer?
To put the world to rights?
I'll stay home forever
Where two & two always
makes up five
I'll lay down the tracks
Sandbag & hide
January has April's showers
And two & two always
makes up five
IT'S THE DEVIL'S WAY NOW
THERE IS NO WAY OUT
YOU CAN SCREAM
& YOU CAN SHOUT
IT IS TOO LATE NOW
BECAUSE
YOU HAVE NOT BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION

I try to sing along
I get it all wrong
Eezeepeezeeeezeepeeezee
NOT
I swat em like flies but
Like flies the buggers
Keep coming back
NOT
Maybe not

All hail to the thief
But I'm not!
Don't question my
Authority or put me
In the dock
Cozimnot!
Go & tell the king that
The sky is falling in
When it's not
Maybe not.

(ahh diddums.)

Something for the rag and bone man
Over my dead body
Something big is gonna happen
Over my dead body
Someone saw someone's daughter
Over my dead body
This is how I get sucked in
Over my dead body
I'm gonna go to sleep
And let this wash all over me
We don't really want a monster taking over
Tip toe around tie them down
We don't want the loonies takin' over
Tip toe around tie them down
May pretty horses
Come to you as you sleep
I'm not gonna to sleep
And let this wash over me

I sucked the moon
I spoke too soon
And how much did it cost
I was dropped from
Moonbeams
And sailed on shooting stars

Maybe you'll
Be president
But know right from wrong
Or in the flood
You'll build an Ark

And sail us to the moon
Sail us to the moon
Sail us to the moon
Sail us to the moon

Drag him out your window
Dragging out your dead
Singing I miss you
Snakes and ladders
Flip the lid
Out pops the cracker
Smacks you in the head
Knifes you in the neck
Kicks you in the teeth
Steel toe caps
Takes all your credit cards
Get up get the gunge
Get the eggs
Get the flan in the face
The flan in the face
The flan in the face
Dance you fucker dance you fucker
Don't you dare
Don't you dare
Don't you flan in the face
Take it with the love is given
Take it with a pinch of salt
Take it to the taxman
Let me back let me back
I promise to be good
Don't look in the mirror
At the face you don't recognize
Help me call the doctor
Put me inside
Put me inside
Put me inside
Put me inside
Put me inside
I keep the wolf from the door
But he calls me up
Calls me on the phone
Tells me all the ways that he's gonna mess me up
Steal all my children
If I don't pay the ransom
But I'll never see him again
If I squeal to the cops
No no no no no no no