Rum Sodomy & The Lash

When i first came to london i was only sixteen
With a fiver in my pocket and my ole dancing bag
I went down to the dilly to check out the scene
And i soon ended up on the old main drag

There the he-males and the she-males paraded in style
And the old man with the money would flash you a smile
In the dark of an alley you'd work for a fiver
For a swift one off the wrist down on the old main drag

In the cold winter nights the old town it was chill
But there were boys in the cafes who'd give you cheap pills
If you didn't have the money you'd cajole or you'd beg
There was always lots of tuinol on the old main drag

One evening as i was lying down by leicester square
I was picked up by the coppers and kicked in the balls
Between the metal doors at vine street i was beaten and mauled
And they ruined my good looks for the old main drag

In the tube station the old ones who were on the way out
Would dribble and vomit and grovel and shout
And the coppers would come along and push them about
And i wished i could escape from the old main drag

And now i'm lying here i've had too much booze
I've been shat on and spat on and raped and abused
I know that i am dying and i wish i could beg
For some money to take me from the old main drag

Billy ran around with the rare old crew
And he knew an arsenal from tottenham blue
We'd be a darn sight better of if we knew
Where billy's bones are resting now
Billy saw a copper and he hit him in the knee
And he took him down from six foot to five foot three
Then he hit him fair and square in the do-re-mi
That copper won't be having any family

Hey billy son where are you now
Don't you know that we need you now
With a ra-ta-ta and the old kow-tow
Where are billy's bones resting now

Billy went away with the peace-keeping force
'cause he liked a bloody good fight of course
Went away in an old khaki van to the banks of the river jordan
Billy saw the arabs and he had 'em on the run
When he got 'em in the range of his sub-machine gun
Then he had the israelis in his sights, went a ra-ta-ta
And they ran like shiites

Hey billy son where are you now
Don't you know that we need you now
With a ra-ta-ta and the old kow-tow
Where are billy's bones resting now

One night billy had a rare old time,
Laughing and singing on the lebanon line
Came back to camp not looking too pretty
Never even got to see the holy city
Now billy's out there in the desert sun
And his mother cries when the morning comes
And there's mothers crying all over this world
For their poor dead darling boys and girls

Hey billy son where are you now
Don't you know that we need you now
With a ra-ta-ta and the old kow-tow
Where are billy's bones resting now

Have a billy holiday
Born on a monday
Married on a tuesday
Drunk on a wednesday
Got plugged on a thursday
Sick on a friday
Died on a saturday
Buried on a sunday

[the pogues' version]
---------------------------------------


Oh my name is jock stewart
I'm a canny gun man
And a roving young fellow i've been
So be easy and free
When you're drinking with me
I'm a man you don't meet every day

I have acres of land
I have men at command
I have always a shilling to spare
So be easy and free
When you're drinking with me
I'm a man you don't meet every day

So come fill up your glasses
Of brandy and wine
Whatever it costs i will pay
So be easy and free
When you're drinking with me
I'm a man you don't meet every day

Well i took out my dog
And him i did shoot
All down in the county kildare
So be easy and free
When you're drinking with me
I'm a man you don't meet every day

---

These are the lyrics as they appear on the rum, sodomy, & the lash insert.


[jock stewart]
--------------------------------------


Now, my name is jock stewart
I'm a canny gaun man,
And a roving young fellow, i've been.

So be easy and free
When you're drinkin wi' me.
I'm a man you don't meet every day.

I have acres of land;
I have men at command;
I have always a shilling to spare.

Now, i took out my gun,
With my dog i did shoot,
All down by the river kildare

I'm a piper by trade
And a roving young blade
And many a tune i do play

Let us catch well the hours
And the minutes that fly
And we'll share them together this day

So, come fill up your glasses
Of brandy and wine,
And whatever the cost, i will pay.

The song is an irish narrative ballad that has been shortened to an aberdeenshire drinking song. it is essentially jeannie robertson's version, slightly modified by archie fisher in the third ve
O the dog doesn't get shot. it is alternatively claimed by the singing stewarts to have been written for bell's father.

when i was a young man i carried my pack
And i lived the free life of a rover
From the murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said son
It's time to stop rambling 'cause there's work to be
Done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played waltzing matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the
Cheers
We sailed off to gallipoli

How well i remember that terrible day
<when> the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called suvla bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He <showered> us with bullets, he rained us with
Shells
And in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to australia
But the band played waltzing matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
And we buried ours and the turks buried theirs
Then <it> started all over again

Now those <who were living did their best to survive>
In <that> mad world of blood, death and fire
And for <seven long> weeks i kept myself alive
<while the corpses around me piled higher>
Then a big turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when i woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, <christ> i wished i was
Dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying
<and> no more i'll go waltzing matilda
<to> the green <bushes so> far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing matilda for me

So they collected the cripples, the wounded <and>
Maimed
And they shipped us back home to australia
<the legless, the armless>, the blind <and> insane
Those proud wounded heroes of suvla
And as our ship pulled into circular quay
I looked at the place where <me> legs used to be
And thank christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity
And the band played waltzing matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
<and they> turned all their faces away

And now every april i sit on my porch
And i watch the parade pass before me
<i see> my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving <the or their> dreams of past glory
<i see the old men, all twisted and torn>
The forgotten heroes <of> a forgotten war
And the young people ask <me>, "what are they
Marching for?"
And i ask myself the same question
And the band plays waltzing matilda
And the old men <still> answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
Who'll <go> a-waltzing matilda with me?

[the pogues' version]
------------------------------


Jesse james we understand
Has killed many a man
He robbed the union trains
He stole from the rich
And gave to the poor
He'd a hand and a heart
And a brain

Now jesse had a wife
Lived a lady all her life
And children they were brave
But history does record
That bob and charlie ford
Have laid poor jesse in his grave

Well it was on saturday night
The stars were shining bright
They robbed the glendale train
And the people they did say
For many miles away
It was those outlays
Frank and jesse james

Now jesse had a wife
Lived a lady all her life
And children they were brave
But history does record
That bob and charlie ford
Have laid poor jesse in his grave

Well it was bob and charlie ford
Those dirty little cowards
I wonder how they feel
For they ate of jesse's bread
And they slept in jesse's bed
And they laid poor jesse in his grave

Now jesse had a wife
Lived a lady all her life
And children they were brave
But history does record
That bob and charlie ford
Have laid poor jesse in his grave

Well the people held their breath
When they heard of jesse's death
They wondered how he came to fall
Well it was robert ford in fact
Who shot him in the back
While he hung a picture on the wall

These are the lyrics as they appear on the rum, sodomy, & the lash insert.


[jesse james]
--------------------------


Jesse james was a boy
Who killed many a man
He robbed the glendale train;
He stole from the rich
And he gave to the poor
He'd a hand and a heart and a brain. poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

It was robert ford,
That dirty little coward;
I wonder how he does feel
For he ate of jesse's bread
And he slept in jesse's bed
Then laid poor jesse in his grave.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

Jesse was a man,
A friend to the poor
He never would see a man suffer pain,
And with his brother frank
He robbed the chicago bank,
And stopped the glendale train.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

Lt was his brother frank
That robbed the gallatin bank,
And carried the money from the town;
Lt was in this very place
That they had a little race,
For they shot captain sheets to the ground.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

They went to the crossing
Not very far from there,
And there they did the same;
With the agent on his knees,
He delivered up the keys
To the outlaws,
Frank and jesse james.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

It was on saturday night,
Jesse was at home
Talking with his family brave,
Robert ford came along
Like a thief in the night
And laid poor jesse in his grave.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

The people held their breath
When they heard of jesse's death
And wondered how he ever came to die.
It was one of the gang
Called little robert ford
He shot poor jesse on the sly.

Poor jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life,
Three children,
They were brave;
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid poor jesse in his grave.

This song was made by billy gashade,
As soon as the news did arrive;
He said there was no man
With the law in his hand
Who could take jesse james when alive.

Well jimmy played harmonica in the pub where i was born
He played it from the night time to the peaceful early morn
He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn
And they all looked very happy in the morning

Now jimmy didn't like his place in this world of ours
Where the elephant man broke strong men's necks
When he'd had too many powers
So sad to see the grieving of the people that he's leaving
And he took the road for god knows in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(far away) sad to say i must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause i'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when i can
To the greatest little boozer and to sally maclennane

The years passed by the times had changed i grew to be a man
I learned to love the virtues of sweet sally maclennane
I took the jeers and drank the beers and crawled back home at dawn
And ended up a barman in the morning

I played the pump and took the hump and watered whiskey down
I talked of whores and horses to the men who drank the brown
I heard them say that jimmy's making money far away
And some people left for heaven without warning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(far away) sad to say i must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause i'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when i can
To the greatest little boozer and to sally maclennane

When jimmy came back home he was surprised that they were gone
He asked me all the details of the train that they went on
Some people they are scared to croak but jimmy drank until he choked
And he took the road for heaven in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(far away) sad to say i must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause i'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when i can
To the greatest little boozer and to sally maclennane