Haunted

It's amazing to me but I can't
Seem to say what I'm doing here
My tongue is all twisted around the air
I'm looking for words that were so well rehearsed
But I can't find them anywhere
With you there's no easy answer
It's true
You change the equation that I add up to
And all of the things I thought I knew
You turn it around

I'm amazed
When push comes to shove what I'd give to you
Everything
I'm amazed
The hallways I wouldn't mind crawling through
And I'd do it for days and days

I'm amazed, I'm amazed

That places your taking me to

Wait, I thought I had this down
I built all my cages and my hide out
I covered all my bases
But you
You creep in like a whisper
I try not to listen but I hear you
I don't know just what it is you do
But do it again

I'm amazed
When push comes to shove what I'd give to you
Everything

I'm amazed
The walls that I wouldn't mind crashing through
And I'd do it for days and days

I'm amazed, I'm amazed

At all of the things I know you have done
'Cause this time I think we've really won
That tables have turned
Now I'm taking my hat off to you
You said 'we'll see'
But darling it's all clear to me

I'm amazed

And here in the foyer the hallway is small
I don't really think it's a hallway at all
It's a maze

Johnny your suitcase was finally received
She's packed up her things and she's ready to leave

It's amazing

All of the ink that was bled from your hands
Has painted a picture that she understands
It's amazed

And here by the ocean the sky's full of leaves
And what they can tell you depends on what you believe
It's a maze

The ass is a tree and the voices were three
And all that is gone is here sweeping through me
It's amazing

The voice of my father still loud as before
It used to scare me but not anymore

Father :
What is it Annie

Daughter:
I miss you

Carrie suggested we go for a drive in her new two-door BMW Coupe.
In the parking lot we slipped into her bucket seats.
Carrie took over from there.
At nearly 90 miles per hour she zipped us up to that windy edge known to some as Mul Holland, a sinuous road running the ridge in the Santa Monica mountains.
Where she then proceeded to pump her vehicle in and out of the turns sometimes dropping down to 50 miles per hour only to immediately gun it back up to 90 again.
Fast, slow. Fast, fast. Slow.
Sometimes a wide turn, sometimes a quick one.
She preferred the tighter ones - the sharp controlling jerks swinging left to right before driving back to the right so she could do it all over again - until after enough speed and enough wind and more distance than I'd been prepared to expect taking me to parts of the city I rarely think of and never visit, I heard her say:

Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me, through my world?
Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide through my world?

I can't remember the inane things I started babbling about then.
I knew it didn't really matter. She wasn't listening.
She just yanked up on the emergency brake, dropped her seat back and told me to lie on top of her.
On top of those leather pants of hers. Her hands immediately guiding mine over those soft, slightly oily folds.
Positioning my fingers on the shiny metal tabs. Small and round, like a tear.
Then murmuring a murmur so inaudible that even though I could feel her lips tremble against my ear, she seemed far, far away.
"Pinch it," she said, which I did lightly.
Until she also said, "Pull it," which I also did.
Gently parting the teeth one at a time down, under and beneath the longest unzipping of my life.

Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me, through my world?
Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide through my world?
Hey pretty, my pretty baby, rock it through my world.
Hey pretty, my pretty baby, rock it through my world.

We never even kissed or looked into each other's eyes.
Our lips just trespassed on those inner labyrinths hidden deep within our ears.
Filled them with the private music of wicked words. Hers in many languages.
Mine in the off-colour of my only tongue.
Too bad dark languages rarely survive.

Hey pretty, my pretty baby.
Don't you wanna take a ride with me?
Don't you wanna take a ride with me?
My baby, my pretty baby.
Rock it through my world.

This place feels so unfamiliar
And yet I know it well
I think I used to belong here
But the only way I can tell
Is that I miss you still
And I cannot find you here
You left me tattered and torn
Just like that sweet Spanish doll

(Sweet spanish sweet spanish... doll)

I went down to the alley way
(Sierra la Bonita)
And found that you were gone
Spanish doll: si nunca tes fueres (if you had never left)
You left no word no message
I still don't know exactly what went wrong
Spanish doll: la grima (tears)
But now no matter where I go
I always seem to return
Spanish doll: busca me (find me)
To where you left me tattered and torn
Spanish doll: you so rompido mi muneca (I am torn my sweet doll)

Just like that sweet spanish doll

(Sweet spanish sweet spanish...doll)

A memory guilded in red and gold
Spanish doll: del oro (of gold also pain)
Beauty guarded and never sold
Spanish doll: cuida me (protect me)
I keep it with me wherever I go
And I love you still
No matter how a story will unfold
Spanish doll: requerda me (remember me)
You know I always will
Have part of you here
In this souvenir
This sweet spanish doll

A stranger in this world without you
Is all that I can ever be
All I know that's pure and clear
You left it with me here
In this souvenier
spanish...spanish...spanish...spanish.....doll

sweet...spanish...sweet

Father:
We hear of a lovely daughter, shot down in her mistaken[ flight, unaware yet
how her life will be affected by this experience.

Daughter :
Why is it a house of leaves?

A terrible thought has moved into my mind
Like an unwanted room-mate drunk on wine
It feeds on my happiness won't pay the rent
I must take proper measures to evict it

A terrible thought has moved into my mind
A giant rat that's nibbling on my pride
It's tearing away my patience and my wit
I must take proper measures set a trap for it

What a terrible thought

I don't care what you've done
I don't care who you've won
I know in the end you'll have your fun

But you can't have it hear
And I won't let you steer
You know I don't want you in my mind

I must stay calm you know and I must be clear
It's gonna take a hundred thoughts to make this one disappear
A train like that could travel a soul for years
A terrible thought could have a terribly long career

What minds have you shredded
I bet they regretted
Having ever thought you up
Just look at you shine
Commiting your crimes
You know I don't want you in my mind

'Cause you're breaking my stride
You poisonous vine
You're strangling me inside
You're breaking my stride
You poisonous vine
You're strangling me inside
You're breaking my stride

What a terrible thought...

Father :
What is your greatest worry because you seem to be worried all the time

Daughter:
Sometimes I can't hear myself think

Father:
YYou have to speak a little louder,
I can't understand a word you're saying

Daughter :
Sometimes I can't hear myself think

Second phone call to mother

Daughter:
Mom? are you there? Are you sleeping? I'm so bummed.
Maybe if I sing a little song you'll pick up:

Sometimes I'm so afraid of my heart
of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants
he way it stops.... and starts

Well it's 3a.m. I'm out here driving again
Through the wicked winding streets of my world
I take a wrong turn break it but I'm too far gone
I've got a siren on my tale and that's not the fine
I'm looking for

I see a stairway so I follow it down
Into the belly of a whale
Where my secrets echo all around
You know me now but to do better than that
You've got to follow me
Boy I'm trying to show you where I'm at

Hey pretty
Don't you wanna take a ride with me?
Through my world
Hey pretty
Don't you wanna kick and slide with me
Through my world

Well I've got a mind full of wicked desings
I've got a non-stop-whole in my head-imagination
I can't forget I am a sole architect
I built the shadows here
I built the growl in the voice I fear
You know me now but to do better than that
You've got to follow me
Boy I'm triing to show you where I'm at

Hey pretty
Don't you wana take a ride with me?
Through my world
Hey pretty
Don't you wanna kick and slide with me
Through my world
Hey pretty
My pretty baby
Rock it through my world

Hey now
Can't you feel me longing
Hey now
Me
(You get the gist of the song now?)

Hey pretty don't you wanna take a ride with me?

I live at the end of a 5 and 1/2 minute hallway
But as far as I can see you are still miles from me
In your doorway

And oh by the way
When the landlord came today
He measured everything
I knew he'd get it wrong
But I just played along
'Cause I was hoping that would solve it all

But there's only so far I can go
When you're living in a hallway that keeps growing
I think to myself
5 more minutes and I'll be there

Inside your door
But there's more to this story
Than I have exposed
There are words made of letters
Unwritten
And yes I forgive you
For leading me on

You can think of it like this
When you can't resist
I'm in your hallway standing on a cliff
And just when I think I've found the trick
I'm tumbling
Like an echo

'Cause there's only so far I can go
When you're living in a hallway that keeps growing
I think to myself
30 seconds and I'll be there

Daughter:
You never listen to me

Father:
We cannot really experiment with love as freely as we wish
It is really a much more complicated topic

If you were here
I know that you would
Truly be amazed
At what's become of what you made
If you were here
You would know how I treasured every day
How every single word you spoke
Echo's in me like a memory of hope

When you were here
You could not feel the value that I placed
One every look that crossed your face
When you were here
I did not know just how I had embraced
All that you hid behind your face
Could not hide from me
'Cause it hid in me too

Father:
Hello tiger, it's fun, talking with you. like this--in fact I'm going to do it more often

Now that I'm here I hear you and wonder if maybe you can hear yourself
Ringing in me now that your somewhere else.

Father:
I miss you a lot

'Cause I hear your strange music gentle and true

Father:
But I'm so proud of everything you do there

Singing inside me with the best parts of you

Father:
Next time I see you you'll proudly sing it back to me

Now that I'm here

I love you...

Daughter:
It's okay you can go now

Don't you mess with a little girl's dream
'Cause she's liable to grow up mean

Surprised you to find that I'm laughing?
You thought that you'd find me in tears
You thought I'd be crawling the walls
Like a tiny mosquito and trembling in fear

Well you may be king for the moment
But I am a queen understand
And I've got your pawns and your bishops
And castles
All inside the palm of my hand

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

This is beginning to feel good
Watching you squirm in your shoes
A small bead of sweat on your brow
And a growl in your belly your scared to let through

You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

So this is how it feels
To breath in the summer air
The feel the sand between my toes
And love inside my ear
All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And your not welcome here

Come a little bit closer
Let me look at you
I gave you the benefit
Of the doubt it's true
But keep in mind my darling
Not every saint is a fool

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

Don't you mess with me

Father: there has to be more to life than this, because in our
confrontation with a cold cold universe, there is something comical
to the idea that we can really impose our will on humanity-- power corrupts!

Daughter :
This is scaring me

Father and daughter 2:

Daughter : ...I live at the end of a 5 and 1/2 minute hallway

Father:
And at the end of it all lies of course the final
phenomenon of deterioration entropy, which is a predictable
disintegrations which the creative life ceases: everything has to fall apart.

Daughter:
Why are you always so serious?!